I live in an incredibly messy room. I always have. Back in the days when i was getting a real education, as opposed to a pretend one, i was renowned for having the messiest room at WIMWI (Well known institute of management in western India). This probably reflects the fact that I am a Nihilist at heart, as opposed to those pseudo-intellectuals who live well organized lives in spick and span apartments, but claim that life has no meaning.
Many people are confused about what messy means. The other day, I was having a conversation with this girl - the proverbial "Your place or my place" conversation, and I was somewhat insistent that I would go over to her place. She found this a bit odd, so I had to express my apprehensions about her coming to my rather unkempt dwelling, and subsequently fleeing in digust.
"Oh, Big Deal. I have books lying around on the floor too and I haven't done my laundry for a couple of weeks. And I haven't cleaned my room in a couple of months", she said.
Her statement only made me think of her as a cleanliness freak. For when I say messy, this is what I mean.
1. You keep your valuables under a pile of dirty laundry in a corner of the room.
2. You don't quite remember how that pile got there. The details are lost in antiquity.
3. The Rooh-Afza that a friend spills on your floor (an entire half-bottle of it) is never cleaned. (don't ask me what the Rooh-Afza was doing there - it was an alcohol related incident. We were trying to make interesting cocktails). Eventually it dries, and gathers a coating of dust and body hair, becoming positively plush in the process. You end up with a homemade rug.
4. The occasional dead mouse or dead cockroach turns up in your room, having ingested food that has been lying around and gone toxic by virtue of having been there.
5. There is a bowl of yogurt by your bedside. There is a garden of fungus in it. You watch it with fascination everyday, waiting for the day it will evolve a pair of legs and scamper away.
6. You accidentally brush the layer of dust on your desk and find keys that you have been looking for a long time.
7. You have never cleaned your sheets. Rogue regimes get in touch with you because of your expertise in developing biological weapons. (I was, of course, humbled in this endeavor by the great LM, who did the same thing with underwear.)
8. A pigeon builds a nest on top of your shelf.
9. The pigeon lays eggs, but leaves, disgusted with your room.
10. The nest and the eggs are still there, a year after the event.
Needless to say, I'm going to have a HazMat team over. Just in case she insists it be my place.